In this post I just want to share a few things I do when I am feeling low self-esteem and I am out of depth. These are simple steps anyone can take to build their confidence and boost their self-esteem.  This will only take a small investment of your time, and can be done while you are going about your daily activities.  The great thing about this exercise is that it can be joyful and you will feel great about yourself.

Start by writing a list of : 

5 things you do well;

5 achievements you are proud of;

10 things you like about your body.

This can be hard if you are not used to seeing the goodness in yourself but if so, just imagine you are a friend who is writing this list about you.  They are likely to be more liberal than your inner critic!

To put this into perspective I will share my own example. Some of you may know I have a small puppy. When he arrived I really felt out of my depth. The thinking in my head was along the lines of…  I have never owned a dog have I bitten more than I can chew?  It is harder than I thought.  Am I doing this right, and the list of self doubt and sentences went on for a bit..  

Being a Coach means I am also watching my own behaviours and emotions. When I am a ‘hole’ I’ve learnt to flip things on its head. So, I made a point of writing in my gratitude journal (Yes, I keep this to remind me of the positives in my life) what I have achieved which at the start was seemingly impossible.   This helps when embarking on a new project, in my case becoming a good dog owner.  On my list of achievements came the London Marathon, for someone who never ran seriously before this was a massive achievement.  This tells me if I can do something I once thought utterly ridiculously impossible, then being a good dog owner, yes it is going to be jolly hard as I am new to this but it cannot be impossible.  Now my mindset is I can do this. 

 I bet you have so many achievements to your name but you sometimes forget until someone else reminds you. Now it is time you recognised your achievements. In the same way, there will be many things you do well which you may not recognise but those around you will.   A simple example, could be the perfect Yorkshire pudding you make or in my case, my signature coffee! Again, once you start, you will be amazed at how well you do what you do.  

Now I come on to the most difficult one, the 10 things you like about your body. I said 10 things and not 5 because for some of us, naming just one thing can seem difficult.  How often do you see yourself in the mirror and only see the things you don’t like about you, and how often do you recognise the things you like about your body?  I reckon it is 80/20!  We humans live in a visual world and tend to see what we want to see!  However, if you look closely there will be parts of your physical body that you do admire, write them down.  Writing and articulating what you see in words on paper or even on your computer screen can be quite powerful as suddenly WHAT IS becomes an obvious reality, and you start to SEE. 

This exercise is not meant to be used just when you might be feeling down it can be something you do when you have some dead time on your hand. Like going to the gym to exercise our body, consistent recognition of the greatness in ourselves can help build our confidence and self-esteem.  The many achievements and things you are good at, are reminders and will help you gradually build a feel good image of you.  

As with any form of exercise there will be pitfalls such as an inflated ego but if you take this exercise lightly as opposed to too seriously, it will be joyful and rewarding.  

Enjoy getting to know the greatness in you.


20th, September, 2021