“The Day is always his who works with serenity and great aims.”  RALPH WALDO EMERSON

Taking charge of our lives is not the same as being in control but it does mean we can if it is in our gift to do so, take steps to change our situation. The flip side is if we just let things happen and other people dictate how we should handle a given situation than unless it is what we want we will feel deeply unhappy.

Setting direction and being clear as to what we want isn’t just a dream it can become a reality but for this to happen we must take charge of us first.

Whether at home or at work, life has a way of easily taking away our freewill. In the midst of doing and pleasing others, we forget what we want and we get distracted or shall I say drawn into acting to please others.  If in doing so we feel proud of ourselves than that is perfect but when we have that sense of I have no control then that feeling grates on our soul and we feel unease.

Taking charge of ourselves and how we respond to a given situation or even a challenging individual in our world is truly down to us. 

We are gifted each day to be a purposeful being so follow your own path with conviction and take charge of your feelings and actions.  

My tips for taking charge when I feel I may be losing sight of my needs:-

  1. Put things into perspective, is what is causing us unease important ? and does it matter? If yes, take charge of how you respond.

      2. Be mindful of where and how you invest your precious energy. If you find yourself in a situation over which you have no control, step back. If you have a degree of control take stock, consider your options and the likely outcomes then act accordingly. Don’t forget to have a respectful engagement and listen carefully to the stakeholders involved.   You will be surprised what a simple act of really listening to others can help diffuse a seemingly tense situation.

      3. Take a deep breathe, ask yourself is my reaction reasonable?

      4. Take an objective view and break down the ‘issue’ into manageable components.  Seek help and trust others, remember  one fact, with or without your input any given situation will be resolved, the outcome may not be to your liking but if you have a say in the matter, take charge and get the outcome you want or get closer to where you want to be.

I will end this post on a personal note as it is important that I hold myself to account when advising others!  Some of you know that as well as my other roles as lawyer, coach and author I am now a dog lover.  My lovely 5 month old German Shepherd dog started to pull me on our walks. To being with if someone asked how we were both getting along, I would say he is lovely but he likes to pull. The more I heard myself saying this the more this became an issue.  I realised I was blaming my dog which was not fair at all as he was acting like a dog.   It was still happening but I changed what I said so I would say we are both getting along just fine and I am learning to be a better dog owner.  The words “he likes to pull” were deliberately parked. I got us a dog trainer to come home this is in addition to our weekly obedience classes. I also invested in a decent dog lead. We have yet to completely conquer the ‘pulling’ but we are definitely moving in the right direction.  We have just done a 25 minute walk and it was a joy.  Taking charge is in my view taking ownership of how I feel about a situation and how I react to it.

Enough said, you are wise so you know this already.


2nd November, 2021